All right. Freezing. It had to happen eventually. After this review, I will only have one winter series left to talk about, and that is Yumekui Merry. Technically I could review Wandering Son, but I’m still not sure if I enjoyed it or not, and confusion does not make for good reviews. So let’s talk about this crap.
It’s short because I can only stomach talking about this crap for so long.
The Basics of Freezing
|Genre||Action, Drama, Ecchi, Romance|
|Aired||January 8, 2011 to April 7, 2011|
|Directed by||Takashi Watanabe|
|Producers||FUNimation Entertainment, Media Factory, A.C.G.T.|
|Opening Theme||Color by Maria|
|Closing Theme||Kimi wo Mamoritati by Aika Kobayashi|
The Story of freezing
Breasts meet aliens
Or…okay, I guess I should say more than that. But honestly, I can’t think of a way to explain the “story” of this anime. So I’ll steal the paragraph from MyAnimeList and just…make some edits for accuracy.
Set in a slightly futuristic world where Earth has been invaded and is at war with aliens from another dimension called the Nova, the story follows the adventures of a Japanese boy named Kazuya Aoi who enrolls for training at a special school for genetically modified girls called Pandoras Practically Lesbians who battle the aliens, and their male partners Sex Slaves called Limiters, who use a special power called “freezing” “rape” to limit their opponent’s mobility molest their fellow students. The protagonist makes the acquaintance of unintentionally molests an unusual older girl named Bridgette le Satellizer who appears to be the most powerful Pandora in her class, but looks like his sister and has not yet chosen a male partner to be her Limiter, and in spite of the warnings of all his friends, he decides to be her Limiter.
I repeat. Breasts meet aliens. That is what this anime is about. And you don’t really get aliens until the last few episodes, whereas the breasts (and occasionally other bits) pervade the entire series. It’s terrible.
The Characters freezing
Okay, on the list of Shitty Casts, this one plausibly takes the cake. I mean, we’ve got the main character, Kazuya Aoi, who has a serious sister complex. He’s attracted to Satellizer el Bridget (we’ll get back to her in a minute) at first because he sees her and thinks he’s seeing his sister. And while he doesn’t actually know anything about her, he keeps following her around and acting like an idiot and it’s just BAD, okay?
Then you have Satellizer el Bridget. Can I just say, she needs to be bitch slapped? Look, they call her the “Untouchable Queen” because she’s pretty badass on the battlefield and she doesn’t talk to anyone and she’s icy and stuff. (Icy, Freezing, get it? Yeah, that was terrible, I know.) Well, guess what!? If they would actually talk to her I guarantee you they would discover exactly what Kazuya discovers: she’s just a blushing little schoolgirl who happens to be really grand at making people bleed.
The rest of the characters are either completely boring or rapists, so I’m just not even going to bring them up.
The Mistaken Creation
While the series was airing, I noted once that it was probably supposed to be hentai and someone just made an error somewhere. I hold that point. I would just like to say that with all the half-rape and unwilling touching and whatnot, this may as well have been hentai that was shelved in the wrong area, mostly because the actresses forgot to take off their bras and pantsu.
There is only one thing I can think of here really…if you liked Gantz, there is the possibility you will like Freezing. But even Gantz was slightly better than this shit. This…is just hopeless. By the time it tries to present a plot, it’s too late. It’s been ruined by all of the breasts.
Well…okay, there’s another thing. I guess if you just want to see a lot of boobs, you might enjoy Freezing. Personally, I like to have some plot with my boobs, but to each their own.
So if you liked Gantz, or you just really want to see a lot of boobs, have at. Freezing is there for you.
Otherwise, please go find something better to watch. (“Better” translates to more or less anything, by the way. Except maybe MM!)
0/10. The first to accomplish that, but seriously, there was not a single redeeming factor to this series. Don’t watch it. Just don’t.
|Reviewed by||Arianna sterling|
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